Have you ever felt like you really connected with someone and they seemed to understand you, but as soon as you moved to the next level of intimacy, they pushed you away? If so, you may be dealing with attachment issues. In this article, we’ll break down what that means and how to navigate relationships if you or your partner has an insecure attachment style.
People with an insecure attachment style struggle to trust others and often experience anxiety in their romantic relationships. They can also have trouble regulating their emotions, leading to emotional outbursts and unpredictable behavior. Often, adults with attachment issues have unresolved trauma from past experiences with abusive or neglectful caregivers.
Children who have attachment problems may feel a lack of love and security in their life. They may be angry and distressed when their caregivers leave or refuse to comfort them when they are upset. This can lead to a sense of rejection and an internal working model that says they are unworthy of being loved.
A child with avoidant attachment issue tends to avoid or distrust those close to them. They don’t reach out for comfort or seem emotionally detached and disorganized. Those with ambivalent attachment have a negative inner working model that makes them insecure and clingy. Children with RAD have severe attachment issues and are difficult to care for because they are resistant to comforting, withdrawn, and can even act out aggressively.
Those with secure attachment have an internal working model that helps them feel safe and secure. They are open to connecting with those close to them and seek out comfort from those they trust. They are calm and trusting in their interactions with others. Children with secure attachment are emotionally balanced and have a positive outlook on life.
There are a few things you can do to help those with attachment issues. For starters, make sure they are getting enough rest and that their basic needs are met. A diet rich in vitamins and minerals can support healthy growth and development. Also, keep routines and schedules consistent as much as possible to provide a sense of safety for them.
Be patient and understanding with your children, especially when they are upset or misbehaving. They likely don’t understand what they are feeling and need help coping. It’s important to show them how much you love and accept them no matter what.
Seeking professional guidance from a licensed therapist can be helpful for both adults and children with attachment issues. They can teach them coping skills and strategies to help them connect with others. They can also explore the root cause of their insecure attachment and give them tools to create a healthy and supportive relationship. This can be done in-person or online, depending on your preference and schedule. It takes time and patience, but with concerted effort, attachment issues can be repaired. This is not impossible, so don’t give up! If you need more information on attachment issues, contact a trained therapist today.